The Single Most Important Thing You Can Do As A Parent
If you are like most of the parents I know, you feel guilty. It’s what parents do.
Whether your guilt is about not enough time with the kids, too much time with the kids, hovering incessantly, or being too laid back, you are worried you aren’t doing the right thing by your kids in some way. Just the fact that you are worried about it tells me, you are an awesome parent. Bad parents don’t worry that they are being bad parents, they just are bad and don’t care.
And, at the same time, I know you’d appreciate a super quick, effective and pain-free way to remove the guilt and start really feeling great about how much you do for your kids. Plus, make sure they know exactly how much you love them, no matter what. I know that’s what matters most to me. I know that kids who feel loved as children grow up to be better people, better parents themselves, more successful, happier and contribute to the world more. I’ve seen it again and again and been frequently surprised by how much the feeling of being loved can overcome any number of circumstances for a child.
Broken marriages, early death of parents, even being given up for adoption, each of these circumstances could lead to trauma, feelings of abandonment, persistent anxiety and fear. People who experience these challenges will have a harder time in life, be less able to maintain relationships and tend to do less well in their careers. And, if a child feels loved through these exact same circumstances, truly and thoroughly loved and accepted, he doesn’t just survive them, he thrives. He takes the hard times and turns them into teachings. He is a joy to be around because he is so in service to life itself. He is loved by all because he knows the love of his parents.
It’s what makes life really matter, right? Knowing you’ve parented your kids well and left them well-prepared for the future — safe, secure and full of self-love. Is there really anything more important than that? But what have you done to prepare for the day you can’t be there for them? Will they feel your love then?
It’s not a pleasant topic, I know. It used to frighten me to paralysis when I used to think about it. Because I didn’t know what to do to make it okay. I love my children so much I couldn’t bare to think about them living on after me because I couldn’t envision who would care for them like I do.
And I knew that if I didn’t make decisions, a judge would make them for me. I knew it wouldn’t have been what I wanted and my kids would be left wondering – why didn’t mom & dad care enough to take care of the things that really matter?
Day after day the Courts process cases of families who have lost a loved one and now it’s left up to the overworked, underpaid, harried and hurried Judge to make the critical decisions you’ve struggled with yourself, and to do so with limited or no information. Decisions such as who will be the guardian of the children left behind, who will make financial decisions for the family until all children have become adults and who will take care of ensuring it’s all done well are left up to a stranger who doesn’t know you, love you, or really even care about you.
When you make the decisions about these things (and document the decisions properly), you are doing the right thing by your children, letting them know they can feel secure, confident, and not grow up with the kind of issues that will keep them from having successful relationships, lives and careers.
Engaging in the process of making decisions for your kids care if something happens to you and getting clear on the kind of beliefs you want them to take into the world if you aren’t there to raise them makes you a better parent. The best part is that even though you are planning for a long-time in the future or an eventuality that may never happen, it makes you a better parent immediately. When you clarify the way you want your children raised and the beliefs you want them to carry into the world, you naturally begin to be more conscious about your relationship with your children now.
If you’d like to explore this process of planning, come in for a visit with me and in just 90 minutes you’ll know exactly how you want your children raised, what beliefs and values you want them to take into the world and pass on to their kids, and who will be the best people to do that, if you can’t be. It’s guaranteed to be a game-changer for you as a parent. You’ll be closer with your children. More relaxed. And more able to stay connected to yourself and what really matters through the parenting process.
The first five families to call in May that mention this post and schedule the initial Family Planning Session will receive a FREE session. Please call our office today so that we can identify the best strategies for you and your family to ensure your legacy of love and financial security.